Saturday, September 15, 2007

Paxil Sales To 9/11 Truthers Jumps Threefold After Bill Maher Recommendation

9/11 Truthers praise Maher for "giving us the right drug for 9/11 Truth." Lines form at Ground Zero area drugstores.

(BNN - September 15, 2007 - New York City.)

Bill Maher's announcement last night that 9/11 Truthers should "...start asking your doctor if Paxil is right for you," caused a sensation at New York City hospitals late last night and early this morning.

"Suddenly, our ER started filling up with young, bedraggled twenty-somethings, all begging for prescriptions for Paxil," said, John Berliner, spokesperson for Bellevue Hospital. "They said it was unfair to keep them waiting for the "truth" till Monday when their own doctors' offices re-open - whatever the hell that means. We filled their prescriptions just to get rid of them."

In his "New Rules" section Maher said:

New Rule: Crazy people who still think the government brought down the Twin Towers in a controlled explosion have to stop pretending that I'm the one that's being naïve. How big a lunatic do you have to be to watch two giant airliners packed with jet fuel slam into buildings on live TV igniting a massive inferno that burned for two hours and then think, "Well, if you believe that was the cause?" Stop asking me to raise this ridiculous topic on this show and start asking your doctor if Paxil is right for you.
Nico Haupt, spokesperson for the growing "no planer" faction of the 9/11 Truth Movement, said this was the sign he was waiting for. "Ve know dat drugs will show us die 9/11 truth. Ve just didn't know VICH drugs."

According to medical literature, Paxil is effective in relieving anxiety and symptoms associated with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, long considered by psychologists to be the foundation of the 9/11 Truth Movement and other societal disorders.

Ask to comment on the long line of 9/11 Truthers at his door, New York City pharmacist, Dirk Veersten, said, "Heh... whatever works to get them off the streets."


Anonymous said...

Who is Nico Haupt?

Anonymous said...

As an effective medicine, paxil would surely provide you immense relief if you are in the grip of panic disorder, depression or generalized anxiety disorder but it is altogether true that the usage of Paxil occasionally facilitates certain side-effects such as headache, low blood pressure, irregular heartbeat et al. These side-effects can yield serious results if not treated immediately hence take this medicine only on proper prescription.

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