Paxil Sales To 9/11 Truthers Jumps Threefold After Bill Maher Recommendation

9/11 Truthers praise Maher for "giving us the right drug for 9/11 Truth." Lines form at Ground Zero area drugstores.

(BNN - September 15, 2007 - New York City.)

Bill Maher's announcement last night that 9/11 Truthers should "...start asking your doctor if Paxil is right for you," caused a sensation at New York City hospitals late last night and early this morning.

"Suddenly, our ER started filling up with young, bedraggled twenty-somethings, all begging for prescriptions for Paxil," said, John Berliner, spokesperson for Bellevue Hospital. "They said it was unfair to keep them waiting for the "truth" till Monday when their own doctors' offices re-open - whatever the hell that means. We filled their prescriptions just to get rid of them."

In his "New Rules" section Maher said:

New Rule: Crazy people who still think the government brought down the Twin Towers in a controlled explosion have to stop pretending that I'm the one that's being naïve. How big a lunatic do you have to be to watch two giant airliners packed with jet fuel slam into buildings on live TV igniting a massive inferno that burned for two hours and then think, "Well, if you believe that was the cause?" Stop asking me to raise this ridiculous topic on this show and start asking your doctor if Paxil is right for you.

Nico Haupt, spokesperson for the growing "no planer" faction of the 9/11 Truth Movement, said this was the sign he was waiting for. "Ve know dat drugs will show us die 9/11 truth. Ve just didn't know VICH drugs."

According to medical literature, Paxil is effective in relieving anxiety and symptoms associated with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, long considered by psychologists to be the foundation of the 9/11 Truth Movement and other societal disorders.

Ask to comment on the long line of 9/11 Truthers at his door, New York City pharmacist, Dirk Veersten, said, "Heh... whatever works to get them off the streets."

Fat Wars: 9/11Blogger.com's Jon Gold Calls 9/11 Truth Movement Leader Jim Fetzer "a real porker."

Fetzer retaliates - calls Gold "a fat and jealous 9/11 conspiracy jingoist."

(BNN - April 27, 2007 - Philadelphia, PA) The 9/11 Truther wars took another turn for the worse today as open warfare developed between 9/11 Truth Movement leader Jim Fetzer and 9/11Blogger.com leader Jon Gold. An unsightly fight occurred as each attacked the other below their unseen belts.

Fetzer had innocently posted links to his recent debates with seasoned rationalist and undefeated anti-conspiracist, Mark Roberts, on Hardfire. Roberts easily trounced Fetzer on the facts but Fetzer was undaunted because, he says, "I made dozens and dozens of points."

Jon Gold immediately attacked Fetzer. "Did you accept money from our enemies to show the world how fat, undisciplined, and snotty the 9/11 Truth Movement looks? If you weren't such a porker more people would accept us for what we are."

Tension within the 9/11 Truth Movement has been developing for months as its 9/11 conspiracy theories have not resonated with an intelligent public. Fetzer has been on the outs with a great majority of 9/11 Truthers, all of whom are much thinner than Fetzer. 9/11Blogger.com has seen a steady decline in traffic reach over the last three months possibly because of Gold's weight according to 911Blogger.com insiders who wish to remain anonymous.

Fetzer accused Gold, "You are like most of those who post here: willing to take cheap shots from the comfort of your homes but unwilling to put away the beer and cheeseburgers."

Jon Gold and 9/11Blogger.com recently came under harsh criticism for trying to talk 9/11 victims' families into joining the 9/11 Conspiracy Movement.

Nico Haupt, a trim and swank leader of the 9/11 Truth Movement who has long led the "NO EATER" faction, was circumspect.

"I've long pleaded that being fat will not get us to 9/11 Truth. Fetzer and Gold continue to be under that incredibly silly illusion that cheeseburgers and fries are thinning. There's no hope for them."

Dylan Avery To Produce and Host "9/11 Idol."

9-11 Visibility Project builds on success of American Idol.

(BNN - April 8, 2007 - Kansas City, MO) - Emanuel Sferios of the 9/11 Visibility Project announced today that the group has retained Dylan Avery as producer and host of "9/11 Idol", a new reality contest show to be aired on the Fox Network beginning on September 11, 2007.

"The format of American Idol is perfect to expose Americans to 9/11 Truth and further our goal of getting 9/11 Truth on TV," Sferios said in a press release.

"Judges will rotate during the first season. Along with Dylan Avery, we have asked Nico Haupt, Jim Hoffman, and Rick Siegel. We hope to find a prominent female 9/11 Truther to serve as a judge too. '9/11 Idol' is gender-neutral," Sferios emphasizied.

TV viewers will be able to vote for best 9/11 Conspiracy Theory from the comfort of their homes.

Amateur contestants from the ranks of 9/11 Truth Movement leaders will compete for the best 9/11 Conspiracy Theory. Jim Fetzer, Steven Jones, Dr. Judy Woods, David Ray Griffin, Kevin Barrett, Alex Jones, Paul Craig Roberts, and Rosie O'Donnell are well known amateurs expected to compete. Singing is optional.

"We do not advocate any particular 9/11 conspiracy theory," Sferios explained. "We want the American public to decide which theory seems the best."